I will never forgive my husband. I will never forgive the whore who took him away from me. This wasn't my choice and yet I have to carry the pain for their selfish choices. I hope they both rot in hell.
It's a sentiment often expressed, in one way or another, by those who have been betrayed by infidelity. The pain inflicted on them, perhaps the greatest emotional pain they will ever experience, is undeserved. Why would anyone even suggest forgiving such a selfish, unjust act?
Part 1: Selfish Apologies
We accept the belief that forgiveness is a necessary component of a healthy, satisfying relationship. But if that's true, why don't apologies always work? Why are offended people sometimes unsatisfied after an apology has been offered? Why are the words "I said I'm sorry. What more do you want?!" so familiar? Because motive makes all the difference. An apology can be filled with all the right words but remain powerless if it is offered for the wrong reason.